As you may have noticed, I didn’t write on Monday or Tuesday. And I had no real reason not to! I’ve had a bit of a strange week (or week and a half, actually). My mood was different and I really don’t know how to describe it. Not depressed or anything, but maybe just unmotivated?
Last night I realized it started after my appointment with my psychiatrist last week; We had changed the dosage of one of my medications. Nothing major, but I’m glad to see the reason for my strange mood. It has improved noticeably since a few days ago, so perhaps I have already adapted.
Overall, compared to last year, I have been in a much better mood than I have been in a long time. My anxiety is down to about a 5/10, which is probably the lowest it’s ever been. And I haven’t felt sad or depressed. I definitely can’t complain!
I’m not sure if the medication change has anything to do with why I haven’t been eating well for a couple of weeks. I still eat healthy foods (most of the time), but I tend to choose high-calorie foods and eat too many of them. I swear, peanut butter is going to be the death of me! I decided last week that I can’t have him at home. The only peanut butter I eat is Smucker’s Natural and the rest of the family doesn’t like it. They have their kind of peanut butter (the super soft one – I think it’s Jif) and I don’t like it, so it’s not a problem to have it at home. But I’m not buying the Smuckers (at least for a while).
After getting rid of peanut butter, I started eating mixed nuts. They have the same amount of calories, but I thought maybe I could eat less and feel satisfied. I learned I was wrong, haha. It is very easy to overeat nuts without even realizing it. The serving size is so small! And what’s worse, it’s all too easy to grab a handful here and there throughout the day—a totally meaningless snack.
So I skipped last week’s weigh-in, knowing it probably wouldn’t be helpful (mentally) to see what damage the peanut butter had done. I would have liked to skip today, but I know that if I do, it will be much easier to stop the accountability weigh-ins altogether. And weigh-ins help me!
Anyway, I’m not quite sure if my weight was better or worse than I thought:
It was at 134.4. In my mind, I was sure I had gained 10 pounds in the last two weeks, so I was happy to see that it was «only» 3.8 pounds. However, this is how it starts… my mindset is «Well, it’s only a few pounds and I’m still in my maintenance range, so it’s no big deal.» If you gained a few pounds due to a big meal or even a week of bigger than normal appetite, then that’s totally fine with me. That’s why I chose to have a maintenance range (125-135) instead of a fixed number.
BUT. I know this is not for any of those reasons; It’s because she was eating many more calories than she was burning.
Something I learned from my meeting with Pete Thomas (home winner of season two of The Biggest Loser) was that if you *are* going to overeat, at least minimize the damage by eating low-calorie things. I wasn’t saying it was good to overeat; Just if you do, do something that doesn’t have a lot of calories. (Nuts are definitely a bad option for overeating, haha).
I had popcorn instead of nuts for a snack yesterday (Jerry and I watched a horror movie) and I also have fruit on hand to eat. I used to eat a couple of apples at night and it was very satisfying, so maybe I’ll do that again. Fruit always helps when I’m in the mood and just want to eat. And it makes me feel good!
Although my mood was unmotivated, I have still been working on my habits. I didn’t add any new ones like I had planned, but I continued with the same routine I was doing last month. I have run every morning for 34 days straight; I had never done it before. I actually really enjoy super short (half mile) runs. It wakes me up during the day and starts my entire morning routine.
Plus, Joey loves it. He likes routine as much as I do, so walking at random times each day wasn’t ideal; Now that he knows we go first thing in the morning when I wake up, he gets really excited. I thrive on routine, and adding «atomic» habits to my days has made following a routine pretty automatic, and that was my goal.
I really hope this week goes better!
